On Positivity

Confession of truth: despite how talkative and social I can be, sometimes I can also get really insecure. These are times when I start to belittle my own self value and lose a lot of the usual confidence I exhibit on the surface.

I think this happens to a lot of people. We all tend to hide it and hope the pessimism goes away on its own somehow. The worst thing, for me, is that I almost never know when these intervals of negativity are going to hit me. I am caught unprepared, and suddenly I don’t know what to do, and I freak out a little. Or sometimes it starts out with one thing, then a bunch of sad thoughts start swirling around in my mind, making me very confused.

But I actually do know what to do to shoo away the negativity, at least temporarily, which allows me more time to pick myself up. So here I am to share with you guys some ways I help myself stay positive! Read through, and maybe you’ll get a glimpse of how weird I can be. (really putting myself out there…)

1. Watch funny videos

Make yourself laugh! If just straight up forcing a laugh out of your mouth makes you feel dumb, then watch some videos that will have you start giggling. I have a playlist of funny videos on almost every social media platform I use (Youtube, Facebook, Instagram…). Their levels of “funny-ness” range from chuckles to hysteric laughter (with tears involved) – Cat bloopers, goofy moments of my favorite KPOP groups caught on camera, or just the most random videos that I stumbled across. Here’s an example…

Yeah. I start wheezing whenever I watch this lion laughing video. My mom doesn’t find it funny at all, and maybe you won’t either. But hey, each person has their own taste, so start building up your own collection of funny videos!

2. Go to the gym

Working out clears my mind because I am focused on keeping the routine going. The deep breaths accompanying each move also helps me relax emotionally for some reason. And by the time I am done with my workout, I’ve already forgotten almost half of the reasons I was feeling horrible, replaced by a sense of self fulfillment and more positivity towards self image! A bonus point: I people-watch and get the giggles when I see buff guys lift weights three times and quickly throw down the dumbbell to take five mirror selfies. 45 degrees posing, bicep flexing, all that.

3. Talk/Smile at yourself in the mirror

I know. This one is super weird. But it works for me since I’m alone in my room anyways. If you want to try it, don’t feel obliged to actually say things out loud (or you also can if you want to). You can silently say things in your mind, such as “You got this!” or “Hey beautiful ;)” (mhmm… flirting with yourself is also a form of self love), while plastering on a smile. Not those lips-only smiles! But a wiiiiiide smile that pushes your cheeks all the way up and squeezes your eyes. Finally, take a deep breath, exhale, and have another good look at the wonderful being you are (give yourself a wink as well) before getting back on track.

4. Observe your pet

This might depend on what kind of pet you have, or if you even have one. I have two furry cats, and I find it very entertaining to watch them sleep (like how Georgina Sparks watches Dan sleeping on her sofa. Gossip Girl fans anyone??). They don’t mind having a stalker linger around them… at least I think they don’t. I get a fuzzy feeling because my cats are just way too cute no matter what they’re doing. When they’re awake, I bother them into taking selfies with me. And that’s how I push away the black clouds – by spending quality time with my pets!

5. Do something you’ve always enjoyed doing

For me, this would be dancing. I remember one time from junior high school when I was feeling VERY depressed over some personal issues, and didn’t want to leave the house for the contemporary dance lesson that was in half an hour. However, my mom convinced me to go. I thought I was going to be grumpy and sit in the corner for the entire class, but surprisingly, as soon as we started to get into character of whatever element we were expressing that day (I think it was the process of the growth of a tree, starting from a seed), I became so absorbed in forming my body into an artistic shape that I didn’t even have space to think about what was making me sad. When I finished class and joined my mom in the car, I was much more cheerful and my mom patted me on my head.

Since then I’ve valued dancing even more, because it became one of my outlets whenever I wanted to escape from something. I sink into the tunes and focus on moving my body in the right order, with just the right amount of strength, in the right angle or direction. I may not be dancing the night away, but it surely lifts up some weight from my shoulders! With each move I throw away bits of negativity until I feel refreshed.

There’s bound to be something you like to do. Even if it’s a secret hobby, that’s totally fine! Who said hobbies had to be so outspoken like mine. Whatever activity that brings you joy, go ahead and do it.

All in all, maintaining positivity is essential for your personal well-being. Someone once told me that I should love myself more, and I admit I am still working on that. Always take care of yourself first! And most importantly, love and believe in yourself.

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